According to research, humans communicate in four different ways. These are referred to as the Director, Expresser, Thinker, and Harmonizer. Each style has its unique perspective on the world. Each prefers a particular approach to listen, responding, making decisions, and problem-solving. Most people employ two styles more frequently than others; how you communicate is determined by this mix. Understanding your major communication style is very crucial because it’s the one you utilize the most. There is no best style, but depending on the situation, it may be advantageous to emphasize one over the other.
In the 1960s, psychologists initially recognized that people had varied communication styles.
Following that, more studies, including those undertaken by the author of Straight Talk, confirmed that there are four scientifically distinct communication styles. “Communication style” is defined by Straight Talk as the manner in which one listens and reacts to others.
What Are Communication Styles And Connections?
Our communication methods have the ability to create meaningful connections, which is an important part of success in any field. Here are a few of the reasons why we must connect:
- Strong, solid interpersonal connections are beneficial to physical and mental health, whereas inadequate social connections are detrimental to happiness.
- Depression and anxiety are less common in people who feel connected to others.
- People who have significant relationships live longer.
- Career success and job performance are intimately related to good communication skills and the capacity to connect with others.
- A robust, healthy family atmosphere is built on effective communication.
The conversation is required for connection, yet communication breakdowns do occur, as I’m sure we’ve all experienced. We say something that sends people fleeing for their lives, hiding beneath their beds, or preparing to fight.
Other conversations, on the other hand, leave us perplexed and unclear, as if we failed to transmit our ideas and emotions through words. Then there are those amazing moments when our interactions draw us closer. We both feel understood, acknowledged, and valued. It’s all about making meaningful connections in life. It’s a game-changer when we get it properly.
How to Identify Communication Style When Meeting Someone for the First Time?
There are three things to do when meeting someone for the first time:
- Observe Reactions and Ask Questions
- Actively listen
- Aggressive communication
My goal is to assess a person in five minutes. “What do you do to stay current with trends in your industry?” is a good question to ask. “What kind of person is successful in your field?” or “What kind of person is successful in your field?”. Then keep an eye out for hints.
An asserter will offer you a response right away and will rarely ask if you agree. An inquirer, on the other hand, will state his or her opinion before posing a legitimate question: “That’s just my opinion.” “How do you feel about it?”
How to Observe Communication Styles Practically?
Examine the part that a person is playing when evaluating their style. A boss may feel compelled to be pushy. It’s her responsibility. But is she naturally assertive, or is she just acting? The balance of inquiry and assertion will inform you. Someone in a lower-level position is in the same boat. Is he inquisitive by nature or because he has to? There isn’t a single key that will always give you the right answer. All you have to do now is practice observing.
Learning to detect the forceful questioner is another trick. Some people hide their true nature by posing questions as assertions. “When would your schedule permit?” I recall a CEO never asking. “Could you be here next week?” she inquired.
You’ll also learn to spot the passive asserter, who is the polar opposite of the active asserter. “We’ve put together a fantastic team here, and it’s taken a long time to assemble.” It’s critical that we have a strong team here at XYZ Corp.” That statement isn’t significant on its own. No one is going to contest it, for sure. It’s completely risk-free and non-harmful. It’s a passive statement.
Probers defer to others and ask questions, while asserters seek to lead the show. Probers look for confirmation and safety in numbers, while asserters jump to conclusions and take risks. Be aware of your surroundings. At first glance, an asserter may appear passive. Put him or her in a scenario where he or she must take command, and a different personality emerges.
Do they discuss their families or their new car? The feeler is identified by their proclivity for describing things as “excellent” or “awful.” A factual style can be identified by their use of the words “right” and “wrong” in their judgments. Again, you must be wary of being duped by the scenario. Someone you know from church may have a very different work style.
How to Determine Your Communication Style?
When it comes to describing abstract emotions and dynamic thought patterns, words frequently fall short. To demonstrate the limitations of language, I frequently play a game with business clients. The following is how it works:
When I say one simple word, I encourage everyone to scribble down a few thoughts about what comes to mind.
I instruct the group to remain silent and write down the first image or concept that comes to mind.
Then I say, “Hey, here’s the word: vacation!”
We go around the room, each individual stating what comes to mind when they hear the word “vacation.”
After 18 years of performing this practice, no two persons have ever produced an identical image.
We use words to describe abstract, intangible things all the time. To describe what stirs within us, we attach significance to the words, the sequence, and the time. However, our internal processes, feelings, ideas, perceptions, attitudes, and much more are all hidden. It’s impossible to comprehend, let alone communicate, these ideas. This is why it is critical to first understand ourselves before expressing our thoughts and feelings to others. Self-assessment tools and personality indications like the DISC profile or the emotional unavailability chart, on the other hand, can help you better understand yourself.
The DISC profile is a non-biased personality test that identifies human behavioral tendencies. This communication style quiz has been taken by over two million people. This is how it goes:
Self-awareness is a fundamental feature in personal development, good relationships, and successful communication skills, and these types of communication style evaluation tools help with that.:
The DISC model consists of four quadrants, corresponding to the letters D-I-S-C:
- Dominance/Driver: Emphasizes results and the bottom line.
- Influence/Inspirational: Emphasizes relationships and influencing or persuading others.
- Steadiness: Emphasizes cooperation, honesty, and reliability.
- Conscientiousness/Contemplative: Emphasizes competence, quality, and expertise
You can learn a lot about yourself by taking the DISC profile test. Your social style reveals your talents, flaws, and potential for greatness. It can also assist you in identifying your biases, blind spots, and unmet needs, which frequently manifest as negative behavior.
Which Communication Style Are You?
A passive communicator refrains from expressing his or her thoughts, preferring to prioritize the needs and opinions of others. When his or her partner, for example, breaks a promise, he or she will not express hurt sentiments. Instead, he or she hopes that the other person would recognize and express his or her sentiments in his or her unique way. Rudeness irritates a passive communicator, and he or she has difficulties communicating his or her feelings to others.
The communication style of a passive communicator is easygoing, people-pleasing, and passive. In other words, they prefer to keep out of confrontation when it occurs, and they are glad to let others take the initiative. They take their aggressive competitors’ remarks and thoughts with a healthy dose of sarcasm. If they are unable to explain their thoughts clearly, this type of passive communicator may experience animosity.
There are various communication styles. While some people have only one communication style, the majority of people have a mix of types. Depending on the situation, they may be a combination of two or more. When dealing with an aggressive person, for example, you can utilize the passive manner. However, keep in mind that this individual rarely speaks their views, which might lead to resentment or confusion.
Fortunately, there are a number of methods for determining your communication style. A good rule of thumb is to strive to use both passive and aggressive communication strategies in your conversation. Each has its own set of benefits and drawbacks, so you’ll need to find the proper mix to communicate effectively and develop a productive team. There are several approaches to defining your communication style, but there is one that is universal. You’ll be able to achieve a common aim if you have a well-balanced blend of styles.
How to Self-Assess Your Communication Style?
The passive personality has a submissive and easygoing demeanor. This type of person avoids conflict and prefers to delegate authority to others. They will frequently avoid conflict and stay out of the aggressive person’s way. A passive communicator will frequently utilize humor to communicate with the other person. If the other person is a passive communicator, they will frequently follow the passive’s lead in a conversation to keep it flowing.
The forceful communication approach is the most effective. It entails confronting issues head-on and expressing boundaries while retaining mutual respect. This type of person is the best communicator and achieves the finest results in the workplace. In an Employee Relations survey of 400 managers, aggressive managers were deemed to have the most favorable and supportive work environment. Furthermore, employees’ perceptions of their manager’s assertiveness led to increased job satisfaction, improved job performance, lower absenteeism rates, and improved organizational self-esteem.
While each of these communication styles is effective, not everyone communicates in the same way. Others are more forceful, while others are more docile. Understanding and appreciating each of these categories is the greatest method to strike the correct balance between the two. Although they are diametrically opposed, a person can communicate in any manner. It all depends on the circumstances. A person can communicate assertively or passively.
The passive-aggressive approach is another type of assertive communication. This approach emphasizes aggressiveness while retaining mutual respect. It is widely regarded as the most effective communication style, and it can aid in the creation of a positive work atmosphere. Lack of assertiveness, on the other hand, can lead to irritation and contempt. A quiet communicator is more likely to be obstructive and assertive, whereas an aggressive communicator is more obnoxious.
When someone is passive, they aren’t assertive. A passive communicator is one who communicates in a passive manner. For interpersonal interactions, this method is ineffective. This personality does not voice his or her opinions and is usually quite passive. The assertive style, on the other hand, is more combative. When a person is over-assertive, he or she will use an assertive communication style.
You’ll rapidly learn to appreciate some of the subtleties in people’s communications – the hidden levels of meaning behind what they say, the types of things they pay attention to – if you train yourself to recognize and understand each style. As a result, more fulfilling and fruitful encounters will emerge. More importantly, when you begin to understand how people see things in four distinct ways, you will begin to understand how four distinct worlds circle around us — the worlds of the Director, Expresser, Thinker, and Harmonizer.
There is no such thing as a superior communication style. However, choosing the wrong style for a specific audience, whether it’s one person or a thousand, prevents people from listening and can lead to problems. Learning to be flexible with your chosen style allows others to hear the vital messages you need to communicate more effectively.
To match your communication style to that of your audience, you must first understand your unique communication style. Matching your communication styles to the people you need to hear your words is a vital step in effective communication, whether you’re speaking with your boss, a small sales meeting, your employees, or a crowd of thousands.